Flexitarian

they eat whatever they feel's right at the time – vegan Buddhists

bob: this woman put a bacon butty in my begging bowl this morning, tastiest dam thing i've ever had
fred: wait, wtf!? i thought you said you were vegan?
bob: i aint contributing to the trade of meat she just gave it to me, besides im a flexitarian i eat what feel's right to me at the time
fred: ooooh, ok kul

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Anarcho-primitivist

Someone who would like to see the abolition of all power relations of hierachy, coercion, domination, and exploitation that was brought about by the shift from hunter-gatherer to agriculture.

Every hunter gatherer in the world is an anarcho-primitivist and proof that it works.

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windfall vegan

a person who will only eat fruit that has been discarded by the trees (dropped off by natural causes e.g. the wind)

the ultimate selfless act to only eat that which wants to be eaten (fruit want to be eaten for seed dispersal) and you're only eating it when it wants you to when it has decided to discard it (off the tree).

bob: im goin' windfall vegan
fred: wow thats hardcore, like gandhi?
bob: nah, he was a fruitarian, he ate root vegetables aswell which the plant needs as a source of nutrients

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Excusitarians

Excusitarians is the new term coined by Vegan Pirate Cap’n Long John Tofu of The Vegan pirates of The Pirates of the Carob Bean

The Vegan Pirate uses the word ‘Excusitarian’ to categorise all the ex vegetarians and vegans who come up with a whole host of excuses about why it’s impossible for them personally to stay vegan and why they need meat.

bob: aah some ex-vegans drive me up the wall, I wouldn’t be mindin’ if they just be admittin’ that they couldn’t be bothered any more, that they be giving up caring about animal welfare, the effects o’ intensively reared animals on the environment and the wastin’ o’ resources but they don’t. Instead I be told ’some people just can’t be vegetarian’, ’some people need meat’ and ’sometimes it just doesn’t feel right to be vegan’ – they should know better!”
fred: i know man Excusitarians are so fackin stupid

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