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When a female in labor makes the final push to get the baby out, but lays a fart so long and loud it measures on the Richter scale.
Jesus, while Melissa was in labor with our son Jake and she made the final push to get him out, she dropped the loudest fart that had to measure on the Richter scale. It may have been the first ever Birthquake!
A Load Liquidator is a promiscuous, selfless, and compassionate female who sleeps with a variety of men, who wear condoms, and upon orgasm, saves their sperm so she can then meet with infertle couples that are hoping to have a child via In vitro.
My wife and have a meeting with a Load Liquidator today, and we are hoping to have a successful session.
27đź‘Ť 1đź‘Ž
Is the act of placing a suppository in the anus, via the Schlong.
I was backed up severely and had tried every option I knew. My buddy Jeremy suggested a suppository, but I dated a girl who once stuck her finger in my ass and cut it severely due to her art of shitty Manicuring. I called my buddy Matt to see if her would put it in via Schlong, which he did and we decided to call it a Sclongpository. It felt better than I thought.
Is an acronym which stands for
Oversized Cock Disorder, and describes an individual who is packing at least 10 inches
I was going to put the hurt on Donna last night until she informed me her last boyfriend had O.C.D. I said what’s the big deal about obsessive compulsive disorder, there are ways to handle it. She responded by saying there is no way to “handle” someone with OCD, then informed me it stands for Oversized Cock Disorder. I asked how big this dong was, and she informed me 12 inches hard. Needless to say, I would have to give it to her 6 times if she wanted 12 from this guy. Ouch!
11đź‘Ť 4đź‘Ž
Is a term used to describe the dick of a human male that rivals that of a horse.
You wouldn’t believe the things women say to me about my gigantic cock. As a matter of fact, I met this girl Renee on Saturday and as I dropped my trousers to unveil the Cadillac of dongs, she proceeded to tell me it was Horsedickulous! Completely taken aback by her comment, I asked if she was insulting me, to which she said no, your dick is so ridiculously big, it looks like it belongs on a horse. After delivering the Dong for what seemed to be an eternity, I bounced expecting to never see or hear from her again. I’ve ran across my fair share of women, but this Renee is a top of the line Horsedick Hound, and I’m a little worried she’s going to seriously injure me, or worse, cut off my meaty member and make a bronze replica. If you know a bodyguard for dongs, please contact me!
A last resort action, which involves stroking your beard three times, then uncorking a backhanded slap of a male individual, who typically works at a smoke shop and thinks time and respect only have relevance when it pertains to him.
I was talking with James the other day, and he said that turd at the smoke shop belittled him after being late by over one hour. Unfortunately for the old boss man at the shop, he wasn’t talking to any regular driver, and after about two minutes of his senseless rambling James Spence Slapped the fuck out of him. Took James twenty minutes to make the delivery and guy was still out cold!
Is a term used to describe an individual who ejaculates a load, typically alone but sometimes with another human, while on the toilet or in slang terms the John.
Talk about some bad luck, I decided to Ejohnulate since Marie has really been wanting a fourth kid. Since I was the only one home, I left the bathroom door open, but little did I know that as I was screaming in pleasure, Marie had installed a “security” camera in our bedroom, and it was all on tape. She followed up and asked why I didn’t scream in ecstasy when we are having sex, and I had to inform her I’ve been faking orgasms the last five years. Needless to say, we are in couples counciling, and it’s not looking good, and I really can’t afford child support.