say

What many people speak or type when they really mean to speak or type the word, "read".

{Susie, on telephone with pawn shop}: This slip says that the due date is June 10.
{Pawnbroker, on other end of telephone}: That's funny, I don't hear it saying anything!

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uronium

Chemical symbol: Un.
Atomic number 327.
An odoriferous brown substance that usually exists between the toliet seat hinges and the bowl.
Uronium may also appear around the bolts that hold the toliet to the floor.

Some people choose to ignore uronium; choosing instead to mask its unique odor with Glade® Plug-Ins® or Wizard™ aerosol.

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toilet tongue

A phrase that means cussing -- like "potty mouth", "garbage mouth", or "gutter mouth".

Don't drop that coffeepot on your foot, or you'll develop a case of toilet tongue so severe, the casting director for National Lampoon's new movie "@*$%! You and @*$%! The @*$%ing @*$%! Too!" might call and want you to play the lead role.

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I Changed the Garbage

A little jingle sung to the tune of, "I Shot the Sheriff" that I made up back in 2006 or 2007.

♫ I changed the garbage, ♫
♫ And I took out the re-cy-cl-ing! ♫
♫ I changed the garbage, ♫
♫ And I took out the re-cy-cl-ing! ♫

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computator

Somebody who spends the majority of their free time on their computer.

May also be used to describe the computer neophyte.

{From a TV spot for portable generators}:

Got a new incinerator,
Got a cool refrigerator,
Smell ya later computator
WORK! HOME!! PLAY!!!

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barbie pin

What many people call a "bobby pin" -- the U-shaped pin used singly or in multiple to hold hair in a particular style.

{Jane}: Hey Linda, may I please borrow a barbie pin?
{Linda}: Sure, they're just to the right of my lavatory. Take as many as you need.

walltoliet

Another name for a wall-mounted porcelain urinal.

Gary, call the plumber! Somebody shoved paper towels or something into that walltoliet and flooded it!!

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