Shampiddle

The same thing as shampee; that is, bottles of shampoo that somebody has mistaken (either unintentionally or intentionally) as urinals.

I know you hate your next door neighbour, but did you *REALLY* have to uranate into his shampoo, thus converting it into shampiddle?

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I/O

When referencing a pet, this term stands for Indoor/Outdoor.
That is, a dog or cat that spends as much time outside as it spends inside.

Candy is our new I/O cat -- she sleeps outside at night but comes in the house to play with our other kitties during the day.

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telephone fruit

Bananas!
They are sometimes called the telephone fruit because if you hold one like an old-style landline (corded) telephone handset it looks as though you really *ARE* holding a landline handset (aka. a telephone "receiver").

I'm going to the store to pick up some taper powels, poliet taper, grapes, and telephone fruit.

whirling down the shitbowl

Going to pot, going to hell in a handbasket; a way of saying that a situation or a person's condition is deteriorating extremely rapidly.

Mom's mind is whirling down the shitbowl; she always forgets to take her meds, she lies in bed naked all day, she has poopinary and pissinary incontinence, she won't even get up to get a glass of water.

pitface

When your face is horribly pitted like infomercial pitchman Jan Muller on his short-lived Beer Machine ads, you are said to have pitface.
This is usually the result of an extremely serious case of cystic acne in the teen years that was poorly-treated or even untreated.

Damn, Daniel's got pitface something awful!!! :-O

pissblanket

A plastic mattress protector; used to prevent a mattress from becoming wrecked if somebody has enuresis (if they piss the bed). They are often found on beds at group homes and similar facilities.

Robbins then thinks about the pissblankets on every bed in the joint, so he rips the pissblanket off of one of the beds, goes around and unscrews all of the light bulbs he can get to, pours the generous helping of light bulbs into the pissblanket (approx. 24 bulbs), gathers up the edges, and whirls the bulging pissblanket over his head -- striking the wall with it a number of times until he is absolutely, positively, 100% certain that all of the bulbs inside are busted. He then crams the pissblanket and its cargo of broken bulbs into a nearby wastepaperbasket.

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cat piss house

A house that smells like cat pee even though there are no cats. The usual cause is that the occupants are cooking meth.

Don't go to that house down the street because it's a cat piss house!

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