parde

In Tagalog, the main dialect in the Philippines, means dude or bro; a very close friend.

Pronounced: PAR'day.

For women it's marde. Similar pronunciation

Yo, parde! What's up?

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Grande

A spanish word, supposedly meaning "large", bastardized by the Starbucks marketing machine to mean medium; their 16oz coffee.

I hate going into a Starbuck's for coffee. The dumbass baristas always treat me like an idiot because I confuse a "Tall, "Grande" and "Vente". Grande is spanish for large, right? "Short" is the only size that makes any sense and "Vente" is an Italian word! WTF is that?! Why can't they just call them small, medium, large and extra large anyway?

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face off

(v.) A hockey metaphor meaning to compete; to face an adverary; to confront.

Ugh! My performance review is today and I have to face off with my boss!

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Shartlesville

1) The private hell one spends time in while looking for a wardrobe change or bathroom after a shart.

2) A tiny, backwood town in the middle of Pennsylvania with no notariety whatsoever except for it's amusingly unfortunate rootword in it's name -- shart.

Caller 1: You left the party fast! Where are now?

Caller 2: Oh...no where. Just wastin' away again in my own Shartlesville.

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people ago

A unit of measure based on the lifespan of modern humans of approximately 100 years and used to give perspective on how recent certain developments were achieved by mankind.

"This country was founded in 1776. People live to be 100. That was just THREE PEOPLE AGO. Yeah, the 'Fear Factor' guy just hit you with a math quiz! That JUST happened. REEEAAALLL recent! ~ Joe Rogan

Big Data

Modern day version of Big Brother. Online searches, store purchases, Facebook posts, Tweets or Foursquare check-ins, cell phone usage, etc. is creating a flood of data that, when organized and categorized and analyzed, reveals trends and habits about ourselves and society at large.

Search engines and marketing companies have gathered and sorted 90% of all information on our habits ever created by our species in just the past 2 years and 10% of all photographs taken in the history of cameras and videos where taken in 2011 all from the electronic devices which we are either unable or unwilling to live without.

Girl: Hey did you see those crazy photos I posted on Facebook? Sexy, right?

Boy: No.

Girl: No? I tweeted them and sexted them to you too.

Boy: I'm trying to stay off the grid.

Girl: What on Earth for?!

Boy: Because Big Data is watching, that's why, and I don't I don't want the government knowing my business!

Girl: You're weird.

Boy: And you're just another rat in the maze.

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bollocks

(n.) A coarse British exclamation meaning balls; testicles; scrotum. It is often be used as an expletive in place of balls, damn, shit, crap, fuck, etc., but, oddly on occassion, also as a term of appraisal and even esteem.

(v.) A term meaning to screw something up; a fuck up. afail.

Also spelled "bollucks" usually by Americans.

Appraisal:
Nigel: Manchester United is nothing without David Beckham.
Cyril: That's a load of bollocks!

Exclamation:
Cyril: You know you danced with that girl with toilet paper stuck to your shoe?
Nigel: Bollocks!!

Esteem:
Nigel: Bar Keep! A round of pints, if you will. On me!
Cyril: Oy, Mate! You're the dog's bollocks!

Verb:
Cyril: You want me to be your wingman at the club tonight?
Nigel: No. After the toilet paper incident, I don't want you bollocksing up my chances again, mate.

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