kagle hold

When a gross dude hugs you and you clench everywhere, even down there.

Marco sees a gross dude hugging Erin in the distance. MARCO :(yelling) "Erin, initiate a kagle hold. ERIN: (yelling back) Roger that!

Misses Pippi

When a female lovingly "hovers" above a toilet seat pissing all over it in the process.

MARCO: "Hey Misses Pippi, thanks for the hot yellow urine I just sat on and the stale lingering Cheerio smell." MISSES PIPPI: " It's got electrolytes."

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obandonment

The feeling you get when the world turns to shit and you search all around and Barack Obamas not found.

DONALD TRUMP: ""We have to be much smarter, or it's never, ever going to end."

LOGIC: (looking over a picture of Obama and Bono smiling on a two person bicycle in the Bahamas and a simultaneaous picture of Donald Trump and Steve Bannon ogling a big red button) "I'm overcome with obandonment."

five case on a three

Wearing expensive clothes with a shitty body is like hiding your shitty iPhone 3 with a 5 case.

Erin: "Wow! Lookit that girl wearing Oscar De La Renta!"
Marco: "Muffin top, spider veins, and a Spock ear... clearly, it's a five case on a three . "

palindromeemordnilap

Replacement word for palindrome. A palindrome is a word or phrase that reads the same backwards as forward, for example, racecar or eye.

CLAY: Hey Hannah! Did you know your name is a palindrome?
HANNAH: Yes, I did, and why the fuck is the word palindrome not a palindrome?
CLAY: Right, the word should be palindromeemordnilap.

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booger bubble

It's a bubble of snot coming out of your nose. There's also a smelly version if the person has COPD.

Erin has fun with Marco, a slob of a beast with Chronic Bronchitis. ERIN: "Do it again! Do it again! "Marco makes a booger bubble that dislodges and floats aboot the room. Erin pops the bubble and makes a face like something smells. ERIN: "Ew! Something smells." Marco laughs uncontrollably until he codes and dies.

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platonic anal

When regular sex is out of the question with your work wife, classmate, or friend. A "platonic anal" hint or suggestion never hurts... well it doesn't hurt the person giving the anal.

MARCO: "Hey Erin, I wouldn't want to ruin our work relationship with classic vaginal sex or an unwanted pregnancy. Howabout we go all Christian Republican in this bitch and do a little platonic anal." ERIN: "Makes sense. Let's do this! Although I must warn you, I had Chipotle for lunch."