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When he thinks it's a good idea to ejaculate on your head, and it's not. Days later, after not Q-tipping properly, white waffle shaped debris falls from the ear commonly during Sunday brunch.
At Sunday brunch, Erin's Dad sees something fall from Erin's ear. He picks it up with his finger. ERIN'S DAD: (to Erin) "Look pumpkin, looks like a dead piece of skin. Someone needs to moisturize." ERIN'S MOM: "Oh, she moisturizes alright." Erin looks to her mother stunned. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to ERIN'S Dad, the "dead piece of skin" falls into his bottomless Mojito. He takes a drink. Erin's mom laughs, "Hey, lemme know how that Alabama ear waffle tastes." Erin and Erin's Mom high five and crack up laughing.
In human terms, a dike is a long narrow hole dug into to divert water. In lesbionic terms, when a lesbian, especially a Bulldyke, has another person (drink the water), or in laywoman's terms, charms another to let her dig into that hole... and flick that bean in the process of course.
In the hot sun, two prisoners in orange jumpsuits dig a trench. BEANIE: "Gosh it's so hot. I'm sweaty and wet all over." BULLDYKE: "Wet is good. Even better when we get into that long narrow hole ." BEANIE: "It sounds like you just served up a hot glass of dike water." BULLDYKE: "Busted... again." Bulldyke laughs, snorts, burps, then farts.
Waiting in line at Walmart, hiked up on on ephedrine, purchasing more ephedrine for your girlfriend's weight loss ambitions and eyeballing a fine little Philly walking past your eyeballs hoping your girlfriend's body is as fine as hers... turns out it's your sister.
The Walmart cashier notices a sweaty, angst-ridden man ogling a woman. Cashier: "That'll be $16.37 for your ... (Cashier puts up her hands and makes air quotes) ... sinus medicine." The angst-ridden man continues to visually have sex with the woman. The woman turns around and sees the angst-ridden man. Woman: "Hi Marco, where's mom is she waiting on the car? Cashier: " Whoo-wee, that's some shit! Marco you checked out that ass like it's passing out five dollar EBT cards, you in a Alabama State of Mind!
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When you get so stoned from hash, you have a brown out.
Remember those hash browns from McDonald's last night?
Nah bro, I don't 'member was totallystoned. I was hash browned.
When a douchy, moccasin wearing, cool bearded hipster dude and his equally douchy girlfriend named Kale, who breastfeeds a baby that's not hers, can't find an organic product at the supermarket and they go apeshit.
Trader Joe's at night, probably on Earth Day. DOUCHY FEMALE BREASTFEEDING BABY THAT'S NOT HERS: (flabbergasted) "What the fuck? Where's the organic quinoa? There's no organic quinoa! HIPSTER DUDE: (Screaming effeminately at a Trader Joe's crewman ) "Where's the organic quinoa? This is the 21st century, they don't have these problems in Canada man." LOUDSPEAKER : "Organic panic aisle 3, I repeat, Organic panic aisle 3. Prepare for inevitable hissy fit, words of entitlement , and of course, vote for Bernie discourse.
When she has something stuck in her teeth and the only way to get it out is by rubbing your dick on it.
Marco notices something awry. Marco, "Hey Erin, you got some fucking cilantro stuck in your teeth. You mind if I use my dick to rub it out." Erin, "You mean an Alabama flossing, I thought you'd never ask."
When you wake up in a Mexican jail cell with your asshole on fire and a failed clown, a masked luchadore, and your 7th grade gym teacher from twenty years ago smile creepily at you.
Marco wakes up confused by his surroundings. MARCO: " Oh my god, I'm in jail and my asshole is on fire." The Failed clown toots his clown horn twice. FAILED CLOWN: "Congratulations... you've just experienced an Alabama goat rope. And you're in Mexico." MARCO: "Is that Mr. Hines, my 7th grade gym teacher? FAILED CLOWN: " Yes, he's the reason for your burning asshole." A masked luchadore squeezes the clown horn. Everyone laughs...except Marco.