Butchers

HAS WAY BETTER FUCKING MEAT THAN SUPERMARKETS, FUCK SHITBURY'S AND PISSCO'S MEAT. It is also known as a Cowdery.

Person1: I'm gonna pop to the tesco's down the street for some sausages.
Person2: Are you taking the piss? Go to the fucking Butchers mate.
Person1: It's a bloody 10 minutes drive for some sausages? Piss off mate.
Person3: Trust him, he is right.
Person1: Oh fine..
*Dinner time*
Person1: You two were fucking right, changed my shitting life. Finally not spending £2.50 for some shitty
Richmond's sausages.

Bakery

Same as Fishmonger's, barely fucking exist. Now, I will excuse every other store that isn't Tesco's or Morrison's. So let's rant about these shitty bread providers..
Tesco's and Morrisons have harder bread than shitting diamonds, every time I bite into a sandwich with their sad excuse of bread there is a 1% chance my tooth falls out. How do you mess up BREAD? IT IS LITERALLY FUCKING LIKE 5 PIECES OF WHEAT PUT TOGETHER, HOW DO YOU MESS THAT SHIT UP?

Person2: Uhh, what happened to Person1?
Me: He broke the fourth wall so I had to kill him.
Person2: oh.
Me: that's a warning for every person, no person is safe, person2, 3, 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 and above are not safe from my wrath.
Person3: Where is our story about.. y'know.. the Bakery?
Me: Call that shit off.

Fishmonger's

They barely fucking exist now, you now find "fish" in those big shitty supermarkets. Their so-called "fish" has "great flavour and is mouth-watering" taste which is utter bullshit. Probably have more sawdust than actual fish in those fuckers.

Person1: I know what will happen, I will go to the supermarket to get fish and Person2 and Person3 should say I should go to the Fishmonger's.
Me, writing this: Oh you dickhead, I wanted a fucking story you shitty non-existent guy. Now my next definition has to be FUCKING DIFFERENT!