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A sad, self-victimizing, stress-addled man whose wife/girlfriend has keeps his balls in a locked box while she takes dick from real men.
Abject cuckoldry is usually associated with skinny-fatness and gender-inappropriate maternal instinct.
Tony is an abject fucking cuckold. I can't remember a relationship where his woman wasn't getting plowed by someone twice his size.
See that abject cuckold over there? I can see why his lady's getting sluiced elsewhere; look at him, it's just in his nature.
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A skinny, bearded, pale climber who hits on women by complimenting their climbing skills. He never succeeds, but his balls are boundless.
I saw THE FRENCH CUCKOLD at the climbing gym and he said to a woman "You are zuch a zmooth climber, bebbe. I am zo erratic up there." She nervously laughed and walked away.
THE FRENCH CUCKOLD asked a woman what level the climb she had just done was. She snarkily walked up to the wall and shouted the level out, ignoring him afterward.
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The act of inserting a saxophone mouthpiece in someone's anus and blowing like you're soloing over a John Holetrane piece. The goal is to make the recipient squeal like John Coletrane's soprano sax in "My Favorite Things."
A guy on the street offered me a John Holetrane but all he had was pvc pipe. I respectfully declined, sure that he wasn't the butthole virtuoso he was claiming to be.
The act of inserting a saxophone mouthpiece into someone's anus and blowing like you're soloing over a Coltrane piece. The goal is to make the recipient squeal like Coltrane's soprano sax in "My Favorite Things."
Some guy on the street tried to sell me a John Holetrane but all he had was .75" pvc pipe. I said "You're thinking of a different act." I walked away, disappointed that I still didn't know when or where I'd get my next authentic John Holetrane.
A cuckold who needs and receives an extraordinary amount of prostate stimulation. He also likes to give the stimulation but is too pear-shaped and submissive to be a "top" in any plausible scenario.
Tebucky wishes he could dig out the prostate of the alpha Chad who bangs his wife, but he's a Tebuckold by nature, so it'll never happen.
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Noun: a person who effortlessly outdoes everyone. He/she never tries but always succeeds at the highest levels. No one can explain where Bruce's all-around competency and effectiveness come from, and Bruce would find a way to expertly dodge the question and make you feel trite if you brought it up. Don't bother trying to get tips or mentorship; you would already know if you were a Bruce.
Verb: to be a Bruce--in general or in a situation-specific way. To effortlessly triumph.
Noun: "I wish I could be more of a Bruce, but usually I'm overextending to get shitty results."
Verb: "I Bruced that diorama, that test, that final, that LSAT, MCAT, SAT, CFP, CFA, that presentation, that sales target, on those athletic fields, etc.. People say I'm more of a Chad than Chad. I spend my time 'pulling my pud' and all my goals just happen. I'm probably a Bruce."
1. Saggy, pointy breasts.
2. Hefty man boobs.
I'm a football fuckin' hooligan! Me mum's got 1930s, me dad's got 'em, and when I stopped playin' football some little 1930s sprouted where me pecs used to be.
I was about to fool around with a really hot French exchange student, but when she took off her wonder bra, I was shocked to learn she had 1930s tits. Horrified, I picked up my pants and left.
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