Samurai

Samurai facts:

-Samurai's can outrun there shadow
-Samurai's penetrate bullets
-Samurai's can stop a train at 200 mph by poking it
-Samurai's don't sleep, they plan the next move
-Samurai's fart can enhance human beings, too bad they don't fart in society
-Samurai's can kill a human being with a blade of grass
-Samurai's eat Gold and drink Mercury
-Samurai's can catch a moving bullet with their teeth
-Samurai's only use there Katanas if there life is in danger, too bad it never happens
-Samurai's tears seal wounds
-Samurai's daily exercise includes finger stands, push ups using your nose, and stopping shurikens with two fingers
-Samurai's never stops moving
-Samurai's bench the empire state building
-Samurai's march creates earth quakes
-Samurai's war cry creates thunder and lightning
-If someone saw a Samurai's face, their eyes would burn out, and their skin would melt
-One Samurai = 200 Ninjas
-Samurai's are better than ninjas

Guy 1 - Dude, You see Takemoto over there?
Guy 2 - Yea he's a Samurai

13👍 6👎

Sleeping

1.) The Second best thing to do in bed alone.
2.) Maybe the First best thing to do if there was somebody else doing it with you

1.) Yea...Sleeping was fun
2.) OH YEA...Sleeping with Carly tonight

100👍 47👎

Front Runner

1. A "Fan" who only roots for the winning team.
2. A Fake Fan

Myth: Front Runners Only Like Yankees, Patriots, Heat, Bulls, etc
Fact: Believing the myth is basically saying, people from the NY, NE (MASS,NH,VE, MA) are all front runners.

Myth: Front Runners claim that they were "always fans"
Fact: Ask them a simple question like names of 5 players or starters for positions and their answer will reflect what they really are.

Front Runner: Switches their "Favorite" team within 3 years or less.
Fan: Always 1 team for life

Front Runner: Can only name 1-3 players (normally the famous ones)
Fan: Can Name pretty much the whole roster along with player numbers etc.

Front Runner: Never Watches the Games except for championships
Fan: Watches all the Games and actually remembers key highlights.

Actual Conversation with a Front Runner

FR: You See the Superbowl XLVI.
ME: Yea, could have been better if the Pats won
FR: EWWW PATS FAN
ME: You a Giants Fan?
FR: YEA GIANTS RULE!!!!
ME: Yea, well Giants didnt get that 96 yrd drive or a brilliant QB.
FR: I dont Care! Giants WON!!!!
ME:*Suspecting a Front Runner* What was the final score?
FR: I dont Care! Giants WON!!!!
ME: Name 5 players on the Giants and give numbers.
FR: Eli Manning, 10. Hakeem Nicks, dont care. Bradshaw, dont know. Cruz, dont know.
ME: You dont watch Football do you?
FR: To be honest I only root for NY Teams. I Like the Giants, Jets <----WTF???---->Yankees, and Mets.
ME: Wow...even more pathetic than the average Giants Fan.

11👍 10👎

Cigar Sesh

A masculine version of “Tea Time” where men talk/gossip about things going on in their life. Usually reserved when close friends and bros share stories and plans over cigars.

“Hey bro I got news to break over a cigar sesh”
“Oh yea, let’s rip it”

Wrestler

The last person you want to mess with in high school. Mistakenly taken as a homo because ALL the football, and basketball players a too pussy to actually fight them so in order to save their asses they post stupid shit on the internet to try to degrade them. Wrestlers are really loyal to their friends, especially their girlfriends. They will participate in any match or tournament even if they are ill or injured.

Guy #1: See that homo over there?
Guy #2: He's a wrestler...mad gay
Girl: Thats my boyfriend...you two are dead...
*Next Day*
Loud speaker: Guy #1 and Guy #2 had been found dead after insulting a wrestler. Both of them were beaten into a coma.

223👍 51👎

dougy

The best way to dance with a girl at nightclubs, or house parties.
Step 1. Ask the girl if she wants to dougy
Step 2. If 'yes' she will rub her ass on ur dick area.
Step 3. Don't let your dick area leave her ass area (so if she moves side to side, you move side to side)

Yesterday was AWESOME cuz me and her were doing the dougy at some nightclub!!! WOOO

50👍 30👎

One Pieced

Term used in Lacrosse.
To check (hit) someone's stick so hard, the player accidentally drops his Crosse (stick).

Man, Matt just go One pieced by that defender.