Hamster

A glorified rat.

Sam: Look at that cute hamster!
Jake: No, that's just a rat with more fluff.

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Karen

Someone who always wishes to speak to the manager, has a 'Soccer Mom Haircut', will not vaccinate and always gains custody of children. Might be a lesbian.

Jake: Steve, Karen took the kids.. Now I won't be able to sneak the 6-month-old out to get vaccinations.. I'm so worried he's going to die of measles.
Steve: Damn, that sucks man, I hope things get better--
Karen: (Kicks in door) Have ANY of you MOTHERFUCKERS heard of ESSENTIAL OILS??

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