Moore-als

When you're a good Christian man, don't like the gays, and oppose abortion, but am totally cool with child molesting.

Jim, who are you voting for in the primaries?
I'm voting for this guy. He is un-sinful unlike the other candidate and he has good Moore-als

Backsturbating

When you itch your back with a backscratcher and moaning

"I find it really disturbing when my dad starts backsturbating in front of me in the living room."