cheeser

A fart or bottom burp of such toxicity and calorific heat, it makes the pumper think he may have followed through or skidded his underpants. Your classic cheeser has a smell that brings water to the eyes, reminiscent of the British cheese 'Stinking Bishop'. Smelling it has the potential to cause ones toenails to curl.
Cheesers are usually the product of a 'heavy night' involving the consumption of copious amounts of BROWN ALE, mechanically recovered meat products of a high fat/high spiced nature and potato chips (french fries) served with curry sauce and processed cheese.

"Oh dear, Vicar, you've suddenly come across all pale. Goodness, are you quite well, my dear man?"

"Forgive me, Mrs Saunders, I've just dropped a cheeser so rank I do believe the lead is melting off the church roof."

blue veined junket gun

British and Commonwealth, esp. Antipodes

an erect penis with azure veining and jerry's helmet locked and loaded and about to deliver a large quantity of love custard over a young lady's tits or other suitable target.

"Dave pulled his blue veined junket gun from it's fleshy holster and squeezed off half a pint of baby batter over Marcia's tits"

Les Anglais sont ariveé

eupham. When a woman has her time of the month or has the painters in or is off games

from Fre. literally "the English have arrived" - from the time of the 100 years war 1337-1453 between England and France, notable for some particularly bloody battles and incidents. "the English have arrived i.e. there will be much bloodshed.

First seen in Viz. Comic around 1988 in 'Finbarr Saunders and his double entendres"

"Go on pet, it's been two weeks and me bollocks are like footballs. Please let me shag you."
"Really, Mr Trubshaw, this is too much. Besides "Les Anglais sont ariveé"

hairy haggis

Scots. An adult penis.

"Hoots Jimmy, will ye stop playing wi' yer hairy haggis!" You dinnae impress me"