Guy Syndrome

Typical of the male human condition, concern that one's penis is insufficient in length and/or girth and/or shape and/or form and/or smell to be appealing to potential sexual partners when exposed.

Manifests as hiding one's penis with elaborate hand gestures whilst using a urinal, populating one's pants with socks and other padding, excessive engagement in oral and digital sex, a preference for sex in darkness and showering alone.

Chris: Mike, how was your date with that hot drummer on Saturday night?

Mike: It was great, but when I got back to her place, I had to run outside naked and pull the fuses for the house to make sure she'd still let me do her.

Chris: Mate, you have Guy Syndrome.

bumholed

Bumholed is a verb, specifically the past tense of the verb bumhole.

Chris: How are things going with you and that post office worker?
Mike: Things are great! She came over last night, delivered a package that had been delivered to the post office, exclaimed it was shoes and then asked me what I wanted to do tonight.
Chris: You decided to bumhole her, didn't you?
Mike: Yep, I bumholed her good!

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vajrash

The sensation experienced by a female during- and post-coitous due to both her and her sexual partner opting to remove all their pubic hair but with the caveat of her chosen partner not properly maintaining their pubic mound in a completely hairless condition.

"Are you looking forward to doing your boyfriend when you get home?"

"No! He's never freshly groomed. I'm still getting over the vajrash he gave me 3 days ago!"

bumhole

Bumhole is a verb used when describing the act of inserting one's penis, strap on or other phallic appendage or device into the anus of a willing recipient.

Chris: What did you get up to last night?
Mike: I decided to bumhole that drummer I've been seeing!
Chris: You bumholed her?
Mike: Yep! I bumholed her right in the arse.

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