rub-out-room

A room in a corporate office formally known as "Wellness Room" or "Sick Room" where savvy and horny worker bees can go to masturbate or "rub one out" in privacy.

Dude, so yesterday I'm all at work and Priscilla starts sending me all kinda durtee email notes and hot-'n-steamy sexts about how she's super horny and CAN'T wait until I get off work and get to her place...but it was only 10:00 a.m.!

I immediately hit the rub-out-room and drain the venom from my cobra! There was no way I could handle seven more hours of office work with a sack full of venom!

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R.O.R. Analysis

Acronym for Return On Relationship Analysis. An evaluation of give-and-take in a relationship from an analytical perspective. Do you get more than we receive? Or do they take more than we give?

I just ran an R.O.R. Analysis in my head about this Layla I've been dating. And it just doesn't add up? I lick her lady parts like a popsicle on a hot summer day, buy dinner all the time, rub her back, say nice shit to her.

And fuck, I NEVA get my dick sucked, get little gifts, dinners, lunch or even a get taken to a stinkin' movie!

I think I'm gonna have to call it and dump her the R.O.R. says "You're an idiot if you stay with her."

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Unobtainium

This crazy rock-like substance that is "hard to get" without shedding a lot of blue blood (but not Blue-Blood) used in the movie Avitar to make smart, thinking people perseverate on this STUPID word for the entire film.

Can you believe those morons who wrote/directed such a creative film were unable to come up with a better word than "unobtainium?" Who came up with this, are they still finding work writing? Are they kicking themselves? What happened to words like kryptonite?

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Dinglemonster

A restroom user who, but virtue of thoroughness, or just total fucked-up/odd ass-wiping technique leaves shit-stained dingle-berries all over the toilet and toilet seat.

Dude, I just went to drop a deuce in the handicap poopin stall and get this; the effing Dinglemonster struck again...little brown rolled up pieces of teepee on the seat, on the floor...all over! Who is this guy? Who could wipe their ass in a manner that leaves dirty shit-paper all over the throne?

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Salscereal

Little itty bits of chips at the bottom of the chip bag and the left-over salsa at the bottom of the salsa jar mixed together.

Jim was so jonesing for munchies that he poured the chip-ettes in with the double-dippin left overs at the bottom of the El Paso jar and spooned up the Salscereal .

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Middle Man

An individual who chooses to defecate or urinate in the middle stall of a three stall format bathroom of either urinals, toilets or both, where one person is already on the outside stall/urinal.

Get this...I was just about to drop a deuce, cleaned the seat up and everything, and a Middle Man came in to shit right next to me! I could see the dude's feet and everything...think it's the freak from the auditors! I pulled anchor and left to crap later, I cannot take a dump while looking at someone's feet, I effing HATE that!

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Strangle-choke

DSM-IV

1) A condition wherein, a person who is an expert at a task, is forced to watch or teach a person who is horrible at the task move really really REALLY slowly. E.G., a luddite using a computer mouse for the first time. The person who is adroit at the task, slowly goes crazy watching the inept person trying to complete this simple thing, and wants to alternately strangle and choke them...but you'd never do such a thing.

2) When walking in a large city, with many pedestrians who are moving slowly, and are not self-aware, that block your path, don't walk straight, stop to take pictures of buildings, et cetera...and you...the fast walker, want to strangle and or choke them and move on...but you'd of course never do such a thing.

3) Anytime you're so pissed at someone or a pet, and you fantasize about strangling and choking them...even though you are so anti-violence that you're a vegan and a card carrying member of Amnesty International

So I'm at my sister's, and holy shit, I effing wanted to strangle-choke her like six times! She's trying to find some pictures on her puter, and I'm showing her how to use Windows Explorer, and WOW, she's a total computer idiot! Finally, I just knocked her ass out of the chair and showed her what to do before someone (her) got strangled, and or choked!

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