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A learning strategy devised by academics to divert attention from themselves and their own activities, cut down on teaching time and cause the maximum amount of stress and discomfort to their students. Groupwork involves the administration of complex, indecipherable assessment tasks which students are left to spend long hours together in each others' company to figure out leading often to short periods of abusive conflict and sometimes even longer periods of fornication and even marriage.
Jemima: Professor, can you please answer me a question about our assignment?
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
12π 1π
A justifiable reaction to all the assholes out there.
"My God Bill, all those assholes out there just fill me with unbearable yet justified intolerance."
22π 20π
When your tattoo artist does something to you without your permission.
Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...
Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!
Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.
A teaching day in the middle of the week designed by universities to ruin both weekends for academics.
Academic wife: Hey honey, come watch "Homes Under the Hammer" with me!"
University Academic: I can't babe, you'll have to Sky+ it. I gotta go to the campus, it's Wednesday
4π 18π
A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.
Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?
Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."
Chris: What's that?
Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.
Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.
Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.
A release of gas from the anal cavity renowned for its particular moistness and pungent odour. Unlike a normal fart, and other categories of cruel fart, the swamp fart is distinct in a number of important respects. It is formed by poorly-digested vegetable or fruit matter incubating in the colon for an extended time period. This results in an uncomfortable build-up of methane gas, which when combined with semi-liquid foodstuffs, produces a wet fart sound when omitted. This is often confused with a pudding fart due to its bass timbre. However, a swamp fart is so foul smelling that it causes an immediate gagging response from those nearby. Commonly, those responsible for swamp farts quickly vacate the environments contaminated by their own farticles both to avoid blame and to check their undergarments for undesirable debris, often referred to as fart sauce.
Kimi and Chaz are sitting in their local pizza restaurant.
Kimi: Was that you Chaz? God that stinks!
Chaz: (Sniggers) Sorry love, I just produced an impromptu swamp fart. Better out than though, I can tell you!
Kimi: You're disgusting Chaz! Shall we order now?
Chaz: No...I have to go to the bathroom. I think I might have fart sauce in my shorts...
43π 6π
A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.
Example 1:
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"