Softstache

The result of some post-pubescent male allowing the full glory of their first facial hair blossom into a creepy, yet baby-soft mustache. It's vaguely French, curiously gross, and -never- appealing.

There's this kid in my sophomore class who waxes his softstache and brags about how he'll now be able to bag all the babes, but I think he looks like a budding pedo.

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Buxton's Phone

The imaginary phone you have with you when you forget your real phone.

Buxton's Phone is created each time reach for your phone despite the fact it's not with you. It vanishes the moment reality returns you to its terrible clutches. It is extremely lightweight, portable, undetectable by any modern technology, and waterproof, but unfortunately not compatible with any carrier or battery charger.

Bobby repeatedly reached for his Buxton's Phone every minute for two hours after leaving his real phone in his "sexy pants".