Lurkerbating

To masturbate to something someone else is doing inconspicuously.

"I caught Dylan lurkerbating outside my window while I was looking up porn!"
Cody-You should close your blinds when you do that.

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Smooth Criminal

To nonchalantly avoid an argument whether or not it is already occurring by making direct eye contact and leaving the room or area, with a calm stride.

Carol: So I was yelling at Ryan for talking to this girl and that rat bastard pulled a Smooth Criminal!

Shaniqua: Oh no he didn't!!

Carol: Yeah! He looked at me, then he walked right out.

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