Phantom Shitter

A curious creature, believed to derive from Naval origins, who shits, slams, thunders, or pisses in the oddest of places. Phantom shitters are second to none in terms of secrecy. He/she normally thinks tactically on placement and timing. As a master of clandestine defecating, a phantom shitter is rarely caught and if caught will not disclose the locations of each shit or if there is a second gunman. Typically phantom shitters work alone but at certain times will work in teams of two to throw off the scent of pursuing investigations if there are signs of being targeted for questioning.

Most phantom shitters start off as upper decker shooters and slammers shitting in the top part of the toilet instead of the bottom. The ones who experience the success of this get intoxicated with joy and pursue further into shitting methods. This typically will carry on from ages 12 to 65, depending on time of first phantom shit, and are mostly of the male gender. However the most success potential comes at earlier stages due to younger people being more flexible.

Just as a chef concerns himself with the right ingredients so do phantom shitters. Texture and consistency play a vital role in each shitting environment and opportunity. This normally will depend on the location and who the anal splinter is meant to target.

A small portion of phantom shitters sing or hum their own theme music and it is said to be a one of a kind experience if able to catch on camera.

"Oh my god man. I think the Phantom Shitter has struck again because there is a massive pile of shit in the fudge batter!"

dwarves

Little people who were sodomized by Elves in the 1st and 2nd age of the parallel dimension and world to ours called Middle Earth. They lived in mines and inside the mountains for the most part. Many Dwarves died during the Stank Mines period, which Elves would buttrape Dwarves till they died from an exploding rectum. Not all Dwarves died during this act of sexual conquest but 50% of their population were wiped out and 35% of that population's death were suicides. Some Dwarves were captured by Gondor to be mated with Hobbits to produce claymation looking creatures called Dwarbbits.

For a period of 1000 years the Elves pounded the little Dwarves' ass holes day in and day out. They were restricted to a population control managed by the Elves so they could not revolt. The Dwarves finally turned the tables and took over the Elves and killed most of them by the use of thrusting their axe handles into the pootbox of the Elves. Most Elves were allergic to this act thus it killed them.

During the time periods the Dwarves were free of getting fudge packed they were a powerful group of people and were rich with rare types of metal, ore, and cocaine. They stuck with cocaine and couldn't keep up with the demand of their dealers so Middle Earth sodomized them for not producing enough. Ultimately the Dwarves were killed though because they smelled like cabbage.

These Dwarves have tight little asses

slamming

A southern term for taking a shit or dropping a duece so to speak. Technically slamming means a massive shit, which in most cases is painful to experience. Due to the fried diet of the south, most slams have large amounts of screaming, moaning, crying, praying, and begging. Many who experience such slams change religions 2 or 3 times and in some cases have even found Waldo during the ordeal. Throughout most of the slam the one taking the slam, also called the slammer, will have slam material better known as reading material to occupy the duration of the painful event. 80% of the time this slam material will consist of up-to-date sports information and news. Though everyone has to live through painful shits it's mostly males who get the brunt of this force. More often than not, males who take slams will have socks on and will keep their phone within an arms reach incase the fire department or medical assistance is needed. It is estimated 1/3 of slammers hallucinate and/or black out due to the amount of pressure put on the rectum and anus.

Wow, I can't believe this guy is slamming in my girlfriend's bathroom.