King poop

The shit you take the day after drinking a lot of beer.

Bob: Last night was so awesome. I drank so much beer!
Fred: Me too! I have to take the king poop now, though. I'll see you in a couple hours.

*a few hours later*

Bob: Wow, Fred. You look skinnier.

Lambast Hazard

a terrible haircut

Hey man, your haircut looks like a Lambast Hazard! Are you five?