mile down

Step one: dick slap your partner so hard their heart stops.

Step two: once they are 6-feet under acquire a shovel of some kind and proceed to dig up their exciments.

Step three: once you open the coffin they are buried in, use the shovel to dig a mile down so when you are committing necrophilia not a soul can hear you (Note this may take some time).

Step four: once the hole is Doug climb out again and push the coffin down the hole. (Ensure enough room at the bottom the the sex pit to allow space for flexible monouvers).

Step five: slip down your underwear and proceed the fuck any maggot filled hole of your choice. Once the maggots have attached themselves to your penis and started making friendly conversations with your crabs continue to shit on the skull of the victim, one the hot, steamy load is to the suitable size, watch as the methane fills lump of shit melts the face and reveals the victims eye sockets.

Step six: once the shit has reached core temperature of 40 Degrees Celsius, insert your penis into the eye sockets and blow your load until the mixture of semen and shit streams out of her nose like a the Alaskan snow dragon.

Step seven: proceed to fuck the dead corpse in the anus, achieveing maximum penetration, leave the maggots to crawl of your penis into the corpses anus. Once this step is complete you will have achieved the mile down and earned your place on the wall of fame. Once on the wall of fame you get a free refillable soda cup at Nando's.

I have Lisa a mean mile down, it's a shame really but Nando's is a priority to me.