Unicorn

The most badass, rainbow colored, ancient, immortal ancestor of the narwhals, who descended from heaven in whale form to watch over us. If found in it's TRUE FORM, it can be used as a vibrator, condom, wallet, Donald Trunp replacement, flying fuck that you won't give, wipes your ass, goes through walls, calls people, mp3 playah, sword, and computer.

Dude: Hey, I'm to tired for sex today, so why not just masturbate or something?

Woman: It's okay, I got a unicorn

Dude: Wait what.... how high are you right now?

Woman:*Sticking Unihorn in vagina* yes

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