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When an opportunity to cheat on your girlfriend presents itself, but you decide to just jerk off instead.
"Maddie was out of town, and this chick at the mall was giving me fuck me eyes. I didn't take her home though, I just went to the bathroom for a quick honorable discharge."
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When you wake up wif morning wood so hard that it hurts to keep it inside your pants
Girlfriend: when I woke up this morning I saw you lying down with your dick out to the sky
Boyfriend: sorry about that, I had morning mahogany so bad it hurt to keep it in my pants
Girlfriend: don't worry, I didn't mind ;)