Coffee

The one thing in this world that keeps me sane.

Person 1: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Person 2: *pours a ton of coffee in Person 1's mouth*
Person 1: OH hi there! How was your day?? I hope it was amazing!

not my monkey not my shit show

Lol

not my monkey not my shit show: what are monkeys in cages notoriously known for?
Monkey: *throwing shit*
Me: not my monkey not my shitshow
Or
Friend1: *got stabbed by their dog or smth*
Friend2: not my monkey, not my shit show