a cunt's errand

A task/situation that has little or no chance of a satisfactory outcome, yet must be completed/endured in any case.

Setting out to use a telephone to speak to a member of staff in the local branch of your bank rather than being content with an automated call system or an overseas-based call centre that doesn't even understand what it is that you are enquiring after. Now that IS a cunt's errand.

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wunk

To be too tired to accomplish anymore tasks/feats for the day.

"Fancy nipping round to see me mum for half an hour?"
"Not tonight, love. I'm fair wunk, to be honest."

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knock

Constipation; from the common practice of knocking the table in the game of dominoes which signifies that you "can't go".

"Are you alright, love? Did you have any luck?"
"No, I still can't shift it. I tried again after the figs had got to work, but still had to knock"

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