Toilet Gator

An animal that must exist because sometimes when you look down in the toilet, you can his little brown tail coming down out of the flush hole in the bowl. Very Reclusive-usually only the tail is visible.

I can't go to the crapper. I am scared the toilet gator will get me.

Nomadic Colon

Nomadic colons are people who travel to restrooms outside of their work area (past the closest restroom) to utilize a restroom commonly used by another work group or on another floor.

The nomadic colon travels there for unknown reasons, perhaps from a fear of embarrassment from co-workers, a desire to defile new and unexplored territory, or for comfort reasons.

The nomadic colon is predominately male in gender, but female nomads have been observed.

Oh, man! Some nomadic colon stunk the rest room on our floor!

I spotted the elusive nomadic colon when he emerged from our restroom and immediately entered the stairway to return to his home territory.

25👍 3👎

sleep tax

The price you pay for oversleeping. You sleep so late that you have to buy breakfast on the way to work/school. Sometimes it's a cost/benefit equation: Is sleeping late worth the price of breakfast at a drive-through restaurant?

Q: Yo man! Why you so broke?
A: Ahh man, these late nights at the club are killing me! I've had to pay sleep tax three times this week. I'm sure getting tired of Mickey Dee's sausage muffins and hashbrowns.

14👍 3👎

Sanchezed the TP

The act of unrolling the toilet paper part way, then wiping a shit-laden finger on the tissue, then carefully re-rolling it. The future victim encounters a shitty piece of tissue, much to their horror and disgust.

Oh, gross! Some dirty bastard Sanchezed the TP and I got it on me when I was done taking a shit!

furniture

Office workers that have been there so long, and do so little, that you only notice them when they move or are missing.

Hey where's Fred? It's like somebody took a piece of the furniture !

4👍 6👎

ghetto sparkler

Using a lit wooden punk stick (usually free at a fireworks stand) as a sparkler. When you wave it around in the dark you get a pyrotechnic effect.

They so poor they bought their kid ghetto sparklers.

2👍 2👎

Restroom jazz hands

The various motions people use trying to get the hand air dryer to start in a public restroom.

Man, that guy made restroom jazz hands for over a minute before he figured out the air dryer didn't work.