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The act of unrolling the toilet paper part way, then wiping a shit-laden finger on the tissue, then carefully re-rolling it. The future victim encounters a shitty piece of tissue, much to their horror and disgust.
Oh, gross! Some dirty bastard Sanchezed the TP and I got it on me when I was done taking a shit!
The price you pay for oversleeping. You sleep so late that you have to buy breakfast on the way to work/school. Sometimes it's a cost/benefit equation: Is sleeping late worth the price of breakfast at a drive-through restaurant?
Q: Yo man! Why you so broke?
A: Ahh man, these late nights at the club are killing me! I've had to pay sleep tax three times this week. I'm sure getting tired of Mickey Dee's sausage muffins and hashbrowns.
Perjorative slang for a Beretta handgun (as carried by a military person or federal cop)
My burrito is rusty and it rattles so bad I can't hit the side of a barn.
When somebody looking over your shoulder tells you to post something on somebody's Facebook page, when you have no desire to leave a message for that person.
Girlfriend: "Hey! Post Happy Birthday" on your nephews Facebook page !"
Me: "I don't even know him. He is my sister's son."
Girlfriend: "Just do it !"
Me: "Yes, m'am-you are a Facebook Proxy."