faceplam

When you attempt to facepalm yourself in an intensely sarcastic fashion, but miss your face.

Pam, did you see that? Lana tried to facepalm herself, but missed.

*falsetto* FACEPLAM.

Seriously, how can you miss your own face, with hands as huge as that.

cough derps

(n. pl.) - When speaking in public, you experience a sudden coughing fit - but you try to talk your way through it, leading the audience to possibly hear something you didn't actually say.

Cough Derps in action:

What you said: "And so, you can see that *cough* 'is *choke* 's *hack* 'very *chork*"

What you thought you said: "And so, you can see that this rare situation occurs in every byte."

What the audience heard: "And so, you can see that his rate of masturbation is very high."

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squeet

The standard unit of squee, that is, a measure of the amount of squee an object or creature can generate. For example, a cute cartoon about kittens would measure 278 millisqueet, or 0.278 squeet. The cutest kitten photo imaginable would rate 4.8 squeet, the TEL (threshold exposure limit) before irrational gibbering will commence. A cute kitten animated gif might actually rate 0.8 or more megasqueet, resulting in a total loss of self-control (and possible bladder and/or bowel control.)

Male: "Apparently, they're remaking My Little Pony, but instead of ponies, they're kitten-ponies."
Female: "SQUEEEE! OHMYGODTHAT'SSOAWESOME! ICAN'TBELIEVETHEY'REDOINGTHIS OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD..."
Male: (checking meter) 17.1 squeets. We'd best get the restraints out now.

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