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So many Fuck Boy definitions focus on the relationships typical of a Fuck Boy. But his essence is so much more than that. A Fuck Boy's state of mind is just as much what it is as what it is not. The Fuck Boy does "cool" things. He may lift weights, play an instrument, dress or dance well, or act aloof or interesting. These are only symptoms. They come not from a place of sincerity, but insecurity. There is a hollowness behind his actions that reveal a lack of understanding of his place in the world. Somewhere deep inside there is an existential crisis that he is unable to resolve, or perhaps never knew he even had. His psyche is a simultaneously filled with illusions of pleasure yet devoid of true purpose. On the plus side he's pretty good at skincare.
The person described in "Pretty Fly (for a White Guy)?" Fuck boy. 80's hair "metal" bands? Fuck boys. The gangs from West Side Story? Fuck boys. Overly clean (or dirty) white guy with dreads, a guitar, and a false sense of wisdom? Fuck boy. Run the Jewels? Decidedly NOT fuck boys. Gene Kelly? Nah, that dude's the real fucking deal.
*Man walks in with his chest puffed out, chin up in a rehearsed "Alpha male" position. His arms are ripped, but his legs are skinny. His daily skincare routine clearly takes hours. His eyes hungrily dart from breast to breast, yet deep inside there is a void, a pit that, try as he might, he can never fill. Basic bitches posture, incels look on with misplaced reverence and envy. You, dear reader, see through it all.*
"Who's the Fuck Boy?
A fictional disease characterized by open-mouth sores, brown nasal discharge, and uncontrollable salivation. Commonly spread through toilet seats, handling praying mantises, and the consumption of kale.
You look tired. Have you been tested for Texas River Mouth?
A fictional sexually transmitted disease characterized by open-mouth sores, brown nasal discharge, and uncontrollable salivation. Commonly spread through toilet seats, handling praying mantises, and the consumption of kale.
You look tired. Have you been tested for Texas River Mouth?