Karma made me do it!

A phrase to be used whenever a high-powered excuse is needed for one's own questionable, regrettable or just plain dumb-ass behaviours or decisions.

Its use indicates the speaker fervently hopes for gentle absolution (translating in their mind as more chances to repeat the same dumb behaviour), whilst revealing him/herself either as a good-humoured rogue at best, or at worst a pretentious, haughty seeker of camouflage for impulsive, greedy, self-centred, weak-willed and purely selfish behaviours.

Woman : "I can't believe you've been fucking Julia again! How many times do I have to tell you never to go near another woman! We're married, got it??"

Man: "Wait, wait! Karma made me do it! It wasn't my decision, please forgive me! My swami says I've been cheated-on hundreds of times in my previous lives. The Universe demands balance. That fling with Julia is just The Universe harmonising itself!"

Woman: "Sure ain't no harmony here, you pathetic shit. Get the fuck outta my sight, we're getting divorced.".

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The Big V

A polite way to refer to a woman's vagina. Especially useful in exchanges when the word 'vagina' is too formal, but you're not comfortable saying 'snatch', 'hole', 'cunt' or suchlike to your companion.

Mum : How did your first date with Julia go?
Son : Yeah, I like her, we had a lotta fun.
Mum : Did she let you touch The Big V?
Son: Mum! She's a True Love Waits girl. But I just know she's gonna break her vows real soon...

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down yonder

A Family-Rated descriptor of the pubic region of a human being. Applicable to either gender.

Grandpa : Hey Bobbie, I hear you had to visit the doctor yesterday. Is everything OK?
Grandson : I'm fine, Gramps, thanks for asking. It was just a little itch down yonder. A leftover gift from a girl I dated last week.
Grandpa: Oh, I see. You're taking me back to my youth, sonny.

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Angel Fish

A woman to whom giving oral sex is a truly heavenly, out-of-body experience.

Gentleman 1: Hey man, have you and Julia bonked yet?

Gentleman 2 : Last night was the night! And man, she is such an angel fish! I couldn't stop eating her out, she came three times on my tongue!

Gentleman 1 : And then?

Gentleman 2 : Well, we figured my tongue needed a rest, so she let me my cock take over the action.

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SFTC

A more discreet, polite way of saying "straight for the cunt".

James : So how did you get on with Julia after we all went home? Go SFTC?

Jack : Man, was she steamy! She goddam ordered me there!

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