School Girl

A female in full or part time education.

"Hello, I'm a school-girl."

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Will Self

To Will Self, i.e.

a)to be a complete legend, hilarious and know every word in the dictionary.

b)to speak in a terrifically deadpan, smokers drawl and appear on "Shooting Stars"

A - I cannot believe you're defining someone so coruscating and whimsical within the confines of such a minute oblong!

B - What?

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benders

Exclamation of surprise/mocking originating around the Wallgarian locale.

Often accompanied by a loud "Baaah!".

"Oh benders! BAAAAAH!"

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bondage mallet

1)A mallet, or other hammer-like object used to inflict pain upon a willing BDSM participant.

2)Critical phrase used in the world-wide chart-topping song "Hit Me With Your Bondage Mallet". (It's nice to be a lunatic, hit me, hit me.)

A - Hit me with your bondage mallet?

B - Yup

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Raquel Welch

Rhyming slang for "felch"

A - "Don't Raquel Welch me."

B - "Alright, sorry."

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Pires beard

Small, pencil thin line of facial hair on the chin.

Made famous by footballer Robert Pires.

A: Wow, look at that guy's Pires beard.

B: Yep

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Wallgaria

The Independent State of Wallgaria, located near Hemel Hempstead, several miles from London. It's attractions include The Tomb of the Tyrozets, Shwan Jalal and Ben's insults.

A: Shall we go to Wallgaria?

B: Yep.

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