Flubble

Noun: The loose, fatty tissue that dangles and shakes from an overweight female teacher's upper arm when she writes on a blackboard

I totally lost track of the theorem because I was so mesmerized by Mrs. Pack's flubble. Christ, can't someone please send her a note telling her to stop wearing sleeveless dresses?

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Scrooge mumble

(Noun) An indistinct utterance used in public places to repel people asking for money. Delivered in a polite and apologetic tone, but without eye contact or any intelligible words that could be used as the basis for a conversation.

A homeless guy hit me up just as I got to the front door of the restaurant, but I warded him off with a Scrooge mumble and ducked inside safely, wallet intact.

Renaissance Dick

Noun: A person who is capable of having strong and incredibly fucking stupid opinions on a wide variety of subjects.

Two minutes after sitting down, I realized that Todd's friend Rick was a Renaissance Dick - a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan and Noam Chomsky devotee' who also believed the 911 attacks were orchestrated by the Israelis.

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apex defecator

A person, who by virtual of their physical size or dietary habits, produces bowel movements that dominate the fecosystem.

Ben froze in his tracks and backed slowly away from the stall, breathing only through his mouth. From the carnage within, it was clear he had blundered into the lair of an apex defecator

Unpurpose

Business Term (Verb): To undermine the utility of a business meeting through participation, or to extinguish the meaning and impact of a presentation or letter by editing it or adding his own unsolicited thoughts.

Thanks to some stupid fucker inviting him, Kevin was able unpurpose the meeting in about five minutes

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dicktitious

(Adjective) An intentionally false or unintentionally distorted interpretation of an event when recounted by an asshole. Often used vindictively or, or selectively target blame after something has gone wrong.

As if the argument with Kevin after the staff meeting wasn't fun enough, his dicktitious account of of it up the chain of command scored me 45 minutes with Cheryl from HR, getting the whole Professional Behavior and Careful Communications lecture.