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A toad like person, who you generally meet in the pub, forces his way into conversation, sticks like a limpet, and has a wide range of uninteresting and incorrect opinions on everything.
That batrachian won't leave us alone, he'll dry out soon and return to the pond
21👍 3👎
A woman of such ugliness that her features appear to have been burned and badly repaired by a plastic surgeon who has been struck off in 30 countries. The type of serious facial skin burns that firemen have nightmares about.
'Struth, did you see her face? A proper fireman's nightmare!
20👍 1👎
The speaking art of talking without actually saying anything at all, to contradict yourself by saying one thing today, then flipping your position tomorrow and the day after, then again the day after that.
The ability to use words like "Laser focused", "Mission driven", "net Zero" or wishy washy non specific rubbery phrases like "We would negotiate" without actually saying what his limits are.
Or the endless flip-flop slogans
Another Future Is Possible
Under New Management
Secure, Protect, Rebuild,
A New Chapter for Britain
Stronger Together
Work, Care, Equality, Security
Security, Prosperity, Respect
On Your Side
Fairer, greener future
Build a better Britain
The art of creating a speech which is essentially word fog, that evaporates on the ether before it hits the ears, the ability to take an enthusiastic audience and have them phoning the Samaritans within 5 minutes of opening you mouth.
Sir Kid Starver was cheered onto the stage, a veritable plethora of meaningless verbiage ensued as the crowd first looked perplexed, started consulting a political thesaurus, moved to checking their fingernails, then looked nervously round the room to equally perplexed faces.
A hubub ran round the room, as correspondent after correspondent as phone came out, phoning the Samaritans for help as they gradually became ever more depressed, disillusioned, and desperate for help.
Back to the political news studio, a long broom hoves into view to poke a sleeping presenter who suddenly wakes up with a shock, "Err Peter, what's your take on Sir Kid Starver's speech?"
"Well Julia it was a classic Starmer word salad of non specific rubbery phrases from the Cuprinol man, a study in Mahogany by the country's greatest dullard"
11👍 72👎
Wokewank
The art of the leftie mainstream media and twatterarti on social media to fawn over any minor achievement by anyone remotely coloured while at the same time largely ignoring the more significant achievements of anyone British and white.
BBC News reporter - How wonderful that 22 year old Adeola Oyewole got a bronze medal in the Paralympic games in the poodle clipping event, this wonderful Nigerian immigrant beat all the odds to bring home a bronze from almost nowhere. The clipping of that poodle was second to none, even though she came third, and has really put Britain on the map at the Paralympics.Several media clips, interviews, and fawning to follow
Finally in other news, The England Captain hit an unbeaten 250 at the Oval, back you Tasmin in the studio.
Thanks for that wokewank Emily, great stuff, in other news................
Wokewank
The art of the leftie mainstream media and twatterarti on social media to fawn over any minor achievement by anyone remotely coloured while at the same time largely ignoring the more significant achievements of anyone British and white.
BBC News reporter
How wonderful that 22 year old Adeola Oyewole got a bronze medal in the Paralympic games in the poodle clipping event, this wonderful Nigerian immigrant beat all the odds to bring home a bronze from almost nowhere. The clipping of that poodle was second to none, even though she came third, and has really put Britain on the map at the Paralympics.
Several media clips, interviews, and fawning to follow
Finally in other news, The England Captain hit an unbeaten 250 at the Oval, back you Tasmin in the studio
Thanks for that lovely wokewank Emma, in other news........
9👍 1👎
The point at which three women talking run out of things to say
Daddy, what's infinity?
Son, its the point when Mummy, aunty Angela and Aunty Mary run out of things to talk about.
Little John: "slow nod" I understand now.............
42👍 7👎
A lady of dubious looks and moral rectitude who's chest is in inverse proportions to her looks but that you would quite like to "do the dirty dance" with but only in your most disturbed dreams. An angel that someone set fire to her face and put it out with a spade.
I just can't help it Terry, She's such a succubust but after 8 pints and falling asleep, she keeps coming for me in my dreams, don't get me wrong the tits are great, its just when she keeps pushing her face into mine that I wake up in a cold sweat