Missouri

Do you want Oklahoma but with no lakes and ten times as fucking boring? Missouri is right there. Crackheads, drugs, abandoned buildings? We have it all. Wanna shoot up? Ask your neighbor for some heroin! Here at missouri well give you whatever you want if you got a gun pointed towards our head! Well except the rednecks they get a little feisty if you walk across there house. Also perfect for kidnappings! Cops don’t give a shit here in Missouri! Ever wanted all your shit robbed? Welcome to Missouri we’re there’s a pedophile and criminal in every half a mile radius!

Guy 1: Let’s move to Missouri!

Guy 2: I’ve always wanted to smoke laced weed at a kum & go parking lot. Let’s go!