Father

Some random dude who put sperm in your mother and then if he finds out your mom is pregnant, might leave. Or if they’re just like “oh well this is my life now” they’ll stay and then act like they own you until you move out. If anyone owns you, it’s your mom. You stayed in her stomach for 9 months, left her, and then she tolerated all your shit. Honestly moms deserve more love.

Father: let’s do the nasty
Mom: okay

~a few weeks later ~
Mom: I’m pregnant

Father: fuck this shit