Colored

A word you can call blacks that will make them mad and probably try to rob you.

*out for a nice evening stroll*

Ah what can I do for you 4 fine colored gentlemen?

3👍 12👎

Vasectomy

A vasectomy’s a medical procedure. One that makes you half a man. Remember when you twisted up your garden hose? Well, essentially that is the plan.

You might be wondering how it works…
(Bum bum bum bum) You make a small incision in the scrotal skin. Isolate the vas and (isolate the vas and then you) hold it in position with a towel clamp, then you snip the fibrous tissue (then you snip the fibrous tissue). Now you'll never have to wear a condom when you do it with your wife,
(...or anyone else you do it with. We promise not to tell, like that new hot chick at work. You know, the one who always has high beams under her ribbed-white cotton T-shirt, but then stares daggers at you for checking her out, and it's like, why do you wear that if you don't want attention? But you know you shouldn't think that way because of the sexual harassment meeting you all had to go to. Seriously, how lame was that? And you couldn't help but notice that the female lawyer running the seminar had a huge rack, like, ridiculously huge for someone who has to talk about that kind of stuff. Well, I guess that's the definition of the word “irony”).

Say goodbye to manhood. Say goodbye to babies. Say goodbye to kids like Meg (empty out your sack)

Or you could just get a vasectomy.

Works at stay at home mommy

See “Unemployed”

Name: Shana
Job: Works at stay at home mommy

1👍 9👎

Eksetra

How white girls who intentionally choose to be incorrect pronounce “Et cetera”. Probably the same people who abbreviate “et cetera” as “Ect”.

We were busy, I had to stop at Starbucks, scroll through Instagram, eksetra

4👍 10👎

Boy it sure is quiet tonight

What suicidal people who work in any branch of medicine (EMTs, nurses, techs, aides, etc) say when they hate their life and all of their coworkers

*finishes a Code Blue call after 46 minutes of CPR*

*staff gets to sit for 30 seconds*

Suicidal Employee: “Maybe it’s just me but, Boy it sure is quiet tonight”
*airplane crashes, school catches on fire, 5 patients have heart attacks, suicide bombing occurs*

1👍 11👎

I feel attacked

A thing white girls say when they somewhat relate to something on the internet.

“Study proves that overweight girls are fat”
White Girl: Omg I feel attacked!

1👍 12👎

Anxiety Disorder

A mental illness that is self-diagnosed by Gen Z and later Millennials because they got scared about doing something once. They believe the cure for this is by staying glued to your smartphone for 96% of your day which does nothing but absolutely deteriorate your social skills, resulting in you being horrified of going to a public place because “oh no, there’s people there!!!”
People who claim to have this self-diagnose themselves with this disorder downvote posts on UrbanDictionary that calls them out, takes jokes as statements (especially online), and accepts every possible opportunity to act offended simply for the reason that there’s a chance to.

If you’re curious to know the ratio of how many of these people exist, look at the Thumbs Down button below, compared to the Thumbs Up button.

Do you want to come to the park?

“Uhm no, there might be another person in that 6000 square foot park, are you crazy??? I have an anxiety disorder. I need to scroll through Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for the 13th time this hour and not actually read anything while I simultaneously order SkipTheDishes because I’m too fat and lazy to go cook.”

Uh ok, you do that. I’m gonna go hang out with friends.

“OMG NOBODY EVER HANGS OUT WITH

ME :(“

6👍 18👎