Weasel Cat

It is the apex predator of Arvada, Colorado. It has the strength of ten raccoons, the length of a vespa scooter, the height of a fire hydrants, and the eyes of a demon long dead (just red). It is rarer than big foot, chupacabra, and an affordable housing with a view of the mountains.

"Bro, I just saw the Weasel Cat by 72nd and Wadsworth"