Alan

Middle aged male that owns a small business, pays people damn near nothing, treats them like crap while also claiming every five minutes 'no one wants to work society is lazy'

Likely owns a house in an upscale neighborhood with a pool and gets their groceries delivered. Talks about how they are 'the little guy'

Oh my boss? He's such an Alan dude...he told me if I don't come to work on Christmas day that I will be fired...he only told me this at 11:30 at night Christmas Eve...