School

School is the bane of every child’s existence. You dread every second of school, from the first second of the day to the last second of the day. School is meant to be a place of learning, but it is worse than it sounds. You spend 13 years of your life in a CLASSROOM. You are rigorously tested on your knowledge. You have to deal with degenerate douchebags and annoying idiots. Enjoy the misery!

4 year old me: I’m going to kindergarten next year. I wonder what it’s like.
School System: Tests, Pointless Knowledge, Idiots, Stress, Boredom, Unfairness, etc.
4 year old me: ...Oh wow.

Monday

Monday is one seventh of your life. Monday is the most disliked day of the week, because kids have to go to school and most adults have to go to work. The weather is often dreary, the amount of work is unbearable and it puts you in a bad mood. On the bright side, it is the day that brings you closer to the next weekend.

-Sunday Night-
Me: The time has come. In 12 hours, it will be Monday. I must prepare. -Drinks gallons of hot milk-

Minion

Evil yellow demons from the pits of hell. They have taken over he world. They are everywhere, from toy stores to video game arcades to my trash can. They have ruined the powerful meaning of the word ‘minion’. There also weird minion fetishes on Deviantart and cringeworthy Minion memes by middle-aged suburban soccer moms on Facebook. Minions may never be wiped off the face of this planet.

Toys R Us: 50% off Minion Plushies!
5 year old kid: Mummy, I want to be a minion for Halloween!
40 year old suburban soccer mom: LOL this is so you, Karen!
Me: Good lord.