Cracked the shits

Usually a clearly definable moment, when coping mechanisms devolve into chaos, fire and emotion, and your inner id is unleashed on the perpetrator.

Commonly used in Australia, especially around idiots.

Dog walker to house guest: I'm sorry, I didn't realise the the afternoon walk was cancelled? Funny, because I came all this way? No biggie. Have a great day and I’m around if you need me.

Dog walker to Dog owner. If you ever cancel the walk at the last minute again I am dropping you as a client. Do you know how many dogs I need to walk each day? How many you have now inconvenienced? Do you think I need to put up with this? You need to take a long hard look at yourself.

House Guest to Dog owner: That dog walker seemed nice. He didn't seem to mind about the last minute cancellation.

Dog owner to house guest: Yeah, nah, he cracked the shits.

5👍 2👎

Neuropheresis

An imaginary procedure a neurosurgeon conjures when attempting to drop their balls on the table to ensure colleagues agree with their research plan.

“Start milrinone, see if she improves, plan for angio after neuropheresis catheter.”