stank fanger

When you got some of that good stank on your finger and keep rubbing your nose.

You got allergies? You need a tissue?
Nah, just enjoying this stank fanger.

Rage Shit

Verb
To be angered so far beyond your breaking point that you are compelled to drop trou, spin around, bend over and aim your asshole at whoever is causing this stress and open fire a bird shot blast of hot brown liquid rage at them.

After waiting for 2 hours and being ignored by the staff at the urgent care, I lost my shit. Literally. Receptionist told me to please have a seat and be patient. I said I’ve been patient for 2 god damn hours and went off on a rant, ending it with a spray of mud as I rage shit at her before angrily waddling my wet slippery ass on out of there.

Laura Harbin-Waters

Noun:
Laura Harbin-Waters, aka “ the chopper “.
A helicopter style landlord that will hover around the building she owns, but doesn’t occupy.

She will make multiple daily visits to the building where she is lord of the land. Goddess of the servants ( tenants ) that she allows to pay her for the high privilege of living under her roof.

Tenants rights be damned if she wants to come into your apartment. It is her building and if you don’t comply with her frequent demands for entry with 12 hours notice, she will have her royal attorney, Rosemary Healy send a strongly worded letter as a warning that you must comply, or else.

I got home at 6pm and found evidence that Laura Harbin-Waters was here again today. She left a note saying a locksmith will be in the building to change all the locks in the morning for the safety of the tenants and security of the building, and then left the doors unlocked when she choppered off, up up and away.

Laura Harbin-Waters

A helicopter style landlord that hovers around the property she owns but does not herself occupy.
Everyday there will be signs of her presence, such as notes left for tenents/caretakers, unlocked doors, missing alcohol, and hideous new decor.

She demands respect…being lord and goddess of the land and all.

You are not a tenant, but a caretaker who pays to occupy the space.

Tenants rights be damned if she wants ( not needs ) to come in.

Laura Harbin-Waters put a 24 hour notice on my door at 12:01 pm to let me know she will be coming in at 12 pm. I told her “No, Laura. I work from 8 to 4:30 every single day.” but she declared “ I am the lord of the land, you have to let me in or else I will sick my discount lawyer, Rose Mary Healy on you faster than you can say ….uuuuhmmm”