Random
Source Code
Random
A unit of time used in Arsetralia and New Zealand, the complete opposite of a New York minute. In terms of normal Northern Hemisphere time units, it's equal to anywhere between 5 to 17 minutes. Approximately the time you need to take a comfortable dump in the toilet.
ORIGIN: The hours, minutes, and seconds move very slowly in Aussie-land and Kiwi-land compared to most of the Northern Hemisphere where actual human beings live. Aussies have nothing else to do than go surfing, drinking all day, and taking a nap in the afternoon (yet they are paid so handsomely well compared to hard-working people in most other countries who struggle for bare necessities). Following the Aussie Rules of time undoubtedly makes them one of the laziest people in the world.
The same unit can be used in the Northern Hemisphere to convey the need for a break or timeout.
You cannot hold an Aussie or New Zealander to the same standards of punctuality as everyone else (they're basically the same country; don't fall for their pretend bullshit that they are different people). Hence, the need for a standard of time that can be used for informal communication with these people (even formal communication).
1. Aussie co-worker: "G'day mate. I'm taking a Sickie (sick leave). Wanna hang out and get wasted?"
You: "Sorry, mate. I have to work hard so I don't get fired. I want to be able to afford my rent so I don't have to go live on the streets again."
Aussie coworker: "Crikey! Just bring over your lappy (laptop) with ya. Tell your boss you're going off to meet clients or something."
You: "Listen, you lazy Aussie Drongo! I don't have an Australian minute to spare right now. So rack off and let me concentrate."
2. Somewhere in the Northern Hemisphere
Friend: "Buddy boy, come out right now. We're gonna go out pick some chicks at the bar."
You: "I'm gonna be right there. Just give me an Australian minute, ok? I'm taking a shower."
Friend: "What the hell is an Australian minute?"
You: "It's a unit of time. You'll soon find out. Just keep watching YouTube videos on your phone."
(35 minutes later)
Friend: "I watched an entire Netflix episode of Bridgerton. Is that an Australian minute?"
You: "No, that would be TWO Australian minutes. I'm so sorry for being an Australian minute late."
3.
44๐ 4๐
The only choice you get in some situations, and you just comply with it as you're too cowardly to stand up for your needs. Named after Anthony LaPusso, the entitled, privileged son-brat of Daniel and Amanda LaRusso. He has been raised with plenty of video games around him. His dad, Daniel, wrote him blank checks every time and gave him a Miyagi-do Karate Gi even though he didn't want to "wax on" and "wax off." His mom, Amanda, and sis, Samantha, drive him everywhere. Anthony doesn't really need to take adult responsibilities as his family would always be looking out for him.
That's why, when there's a tough and unpredictable situation, instead of battling it out, Anthony goes for the LaPusso Alternative and just takes whatever is being offered because he's too scared of antagonizing his parents, who might write him off the family inheritance and any trust funds. He's also scared of the school principal and other authority figures.
In a way, the LaPusso Alternative is actually a good choice when you have too much to lose because of owning responsibilities for your actions. After all, when everything is served to you on a platter, only a fool would choose the harder path in life.
Carjacker: "Give me all your money. kid. And the car!"
Victim: "All right, man. Don't kill me please. Listen you can take the car, and you can keep my wallet. But can you just spare me $10 so I can take the bus home."
Carjacker: "Nopes. you don't get anything. Tell you what? You can walk all the way home. Be thankful I spared your life, and you're not going to wake up in a hospital. "
Victim: "OK man. there's always the LaPusso alternative. Keep my car, and my wallet. I will walk all the way home."
Carjacker: "Fuck off, LaPusso."
10๐ 1๐