Calvin’s Law

A standing workplace rule that states: Upon completion of your third bowel movement on the same work day, you are immediately excused from work for the remainder of the day. You clearly have larger problems than work to deal with. Go home, get your shit handled and return to work in the morning.

Named after the creator of the law, Calvin Johnson.

"That's my third shit today! Calvin’s Law is now in effect. I'll see you guys in the morning... I'm going home."

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