terminate velocity

n. applies to new or recent hires that don't seem to understand the job for which they were hired.

That new girl in Logistics hit terminate velocity last Thursday when she sorted one column of a 50,000-cell spreadsheet and saved it to the shared drive.

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echo request

When an incompetent employee makes continuous, connected, inefficient email requests of a top employee, each one followed by another like a never-ending Matryoshka doll. The expert answers the question or provides the information and the asker makes an follow-up request that could easily have been made as part of the initial question, not unlike a three-year-old in a “Why?” fatal embrace.

It is the electronic version of someone who won’t leave your office, and an example of modern corporate inefficiency. It is also the reason why top people need firewalls to prevent them from bombardments of stupidity. In the past, it was the live executive assistant or receptionist. Now, since most experts are not executives and don’t have administrative assistants screening their email, bumbling, disorganized employees can waste large gobs of (presumably more expensive) time with incomplete request after incomplete request.

Email from incompetent: Hey, can you get me the sales numbers from the third quarter?

Email response from expert: Sure, here they are (attached).

(five minutes later)
Email from incompetent: Hey, can you also send me projections for fourth quarter?

(expert, yelling at monitor): Why didn't you ask for that before? I have a meeting in five minutes and have to deal with an echo request from Dave in Logisitics?! Come on!

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pwnd flat

Combination of "pwned" and "pounded flat." To be even more pwned than every before. Usually occurs in games, movies or other pop culture when a person has something large land on them, removing them from view and, presumably, killing them instantly. Items include cars, helicopters, boulders and buildings.

Did you see Kumar in that Superman movie? He had, like, one line, and then was pwnd flat by that 100-foot black crystal spire. Dizzam.