snirking

To sniff little girls bicycle seats.Used in Liverpool in the 1970s.

Joe spent his evenings snirking.

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next to fuck all

A Scottish expression or UK stating that a measurement is close to that of the desired.

One carpenter to another: Well there's next to fuck all difference between the length of these two.

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arch-wanker

To reach heights well above the ordinary wanker. In analogy to arch-bishop.A British word.

Steve was an arch-wanker by anybodies standards.

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fuckland

A fictional place of the imagination.

If that guy thinks he's going to get that engine out on his own he's living in pure fuckland!

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fanny magnet

A sports car that attracts young ladies.

That car of yours is a real fanny magnet!

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wet finger

After the insertion of ones digit in a womans vagina. British word used in the Midlands of England.

Hey Harold - did ye get a wet finger last night?

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guilty as fuck

In Scotland if you end up in court and are found guilty there are three possible outcomes that people perceive you to be:

Guilty
Fucking guilty
Guilty as fuck

These are in increasing order of severety.

Larry - I think he's innocent.
Jerry - Get away - the mans as guilty as fuck! The very least is that he's fucking guilty.

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