Swine

When you meet a woman from a social dating site and you’ve been catfished to the point where large amounts of alcohol are needed to sleep with the pig

“I was expecting a beauty, I got a pig and as the Sauvignon blanc flowed she became my swine”

Rob “how’s it going with the swine”
Frank “shit hot mate, we went for a walk in the woods last week after a glass of wine and the bastard found me truffles”

poundland battery

To be of very little energy and seemingly useless

Jack “I see that lazy bastard has turned up to work today”
Steve “yea I know! He’s as much use as a Poundland battery”

iphone galaxy

The phone that the older generations believe to be popular with the kids

“Malcolm! Have you seen that spoilt little bitch on her iPhone galaxy? These kids are all the bloody same!”