Jehan Alain

A Chad Frankish warrior of the 20th century who is also an organist and makes his own music. He served in the French army and became the slayer of 16 German Krauts in one go, before ultimately falling in battle.

“Did you hear about that dude Jehan Alain? He’s the bravest musician I ever knew!”

Necromantic

A portmanteau/pun of “necro-“ and “Romantic” on the word “Neoromantic” used by modernists to shit on art in a Romantic revival style.

Oftentimes, those modernist artists think they are so clever as if they thought of a new joke, when it’s already been used by a bunch neckbeards who think they are so smart and above the taste of “normies”, in order to make themselves feel better about the fact that no one other than themselves and their colleagues would even give a shit about the art they make.

Blue-haired college composition-major: Lol Alma Deutscher composes the same things people 200 years ago did haha she’s such a necromantic

STEM-Chad: The premiere of your own composition “soCialisM is gOod” (2020) for solo piano had literally 3 people attend, sit down bro

Florent Schmitt

A dirty lowlife German who pretends to be a Frenchman, but would always be the Kraut he is. Named after a 20th century “French” composer of German blood who cowardly surrendered and betrayed his own country.

Florenz: “I am ze French person, ja.”
Jean: “Get out of here, you Florent Schmitt!”

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Pierre Boulez

The full name of a composer whose music was just as bad as his personality.

“Damn, stop banging on the piano keys. You sound like a total Pierre Boulez.”

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Boulez

A French conductor and a bad serialist composer who gets triggered whenever someone living after 1920 writes something that isn't serialist, especially if it has a major or a minor.

Pierre: "This Turangalila-Symphony sounds like barf."
Olivier: "That's hurtful. Stop being such a Boulez"

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