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Noun.
To have a completely bald genital region.
Dude I railed this chick last night and she was spald. It was like doing an 11-year old.
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Bush Eyes is a phenomena that occurs after spending lengthy periods of time in "bush camps".
Bush camps are any camp removed from civilization and generally the workers at said camps work 4 week rotations in these camps without leaving.
The important thing to note about bush camps is that they are dominated by males and hardly ever a female and especially not attractive ones can be spotted.
The onset of Bush Eyes can go unnoticed for the four week period if there are no women around. It is easier to notice if there is in fact a woman in camp that you would initially deem "unfuckable".
You will notice that women in camp that were at first unattractive will become slowly more attractive until you find yourself fantasizing about having coitus with them.
When you finally leave the bush camp and hit the town, you will probably want to get a few drinks. Unbeknownst to most the combination of Beer Goggles and Bush Eyes is deadly. These two phenomena together combined to make almost any women attractive.
When you finally see women for the first time after getting bush eyes you will fuck almost anything in sight.
Evan: "Mike do you remember how diseased those strippers were last night? I mean.. I was pretty drunk but wow they were just fat as fuck bro."
Mike: "Oh man, I just got off a 4 week rotation and had bush eyes worse than I thought... I actually took one of them home with me. Damn you Bush Eyes!"
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A man positions himself quite precariously on a womans face so that her nose just barley slips into his butthole and so that his nuts may, if he so chooses, slowly sink into her mouth giving her a tea bag. Then women proceeds to "jerk the man off", the man then proceeds to take a dirty black colored shit all over her face. This black color can be acheived from intaking excessive amounts of vodka. It's quite the experience.
"I say darling, that dirty sludge pump you gave me earlier had such a rich color and flavor."
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Someone who is hopelessly addicted to mung. In actual fact their genetic makeup has been altered to one that requires mung on a weekly basis; every Mungday (monday to non-mungpires).
If you are bitten by a mungpire, after a short period of time the hopeless addiction will begin to take hold and you yourself will become a mungpire.
Some people have taken it upon themselves to hunt down and destroy the mungpires, these people are known as the anti-mungites. So far they have been unsuccesful in eraticating the mungpires.
Closet mungpires choose not to go munging every Mungday but instead, keep a store of mung to drink every mungday, in order to keep themselves alive.
Every Mungpire knows that this stored mung is nothing compared to the rush given by that of mung milked from a fresh corpse.
So beware of mungpires, for if you are not careful, they might claim you as their next victim.
Josh: "Dude, what wrong with you, why are you twitching?"
Evan: "I have this unbelievable urge to squeeze the liquid out of a dead corpses ass and drink it."
Josh: "Thats just fucked up."
Evan: "It's all Mike's fault, he bit me last week and I always knew he was a dirty mungpire. I must have said one too many insults. Now I must live with this for the rest of my life."
Josh: "Wow bro. That blows felch out of Gouthro's and Bronwell's assholes."
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Dating except its between two men or two women
Yo dude, that was super queer. You guys might well be gating.
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