LANCED

To die a cruel and unusual death by boredom, PowerPoint, charts, and emergency drill procedures. Known to cause blindness (temporary or permanent) from having to stare at loud, multi-colored Ralph Furley-looking button-up shirts.

I was sucked into an emergency meeting today and my partner was Lanced; I'm going to miss him.

Lanced

A cruel and unusual form of death from PowerPoint, charts, long meetings, and emergency management procedures. Known to cause Blindness (temporary or permanent) from having to stare at loud, multi-colored, Ralph Furley-looking button-up shirts.

I am glad I didn't go to that meeting, it was a certain death from being Lanced.