Splonge

To clear an inner ear blockage that is causing unusual auditory phenomena, such as popping sounds or a feeling of being under water.

My ear's doing that thing again, I need to get it splonged.

Sounds like there's an Earwig living in there, do you think it will eat my brain if I don't get it splonged quickly?

Porta-trotty

The funny run-walk you do when you've left it too long before going to the toilet at an outdoor event, such as s music festival, where The only toilets are porta-loos/porta-pottys.

They could all see me on the brow of the hill making a hop, skip, dash for the loo with my knees fused together so as to not release the krappen. It was my most painful porta-trotty experience.

Krappen

A terrifying toilet experience.

Regardless of type, the nature of the expulsion is so distressing to the victim, that it can only be compared to the legendary sinker of mythological ships, The Kraken.

I was ambling over the hill, keeping myself to myself when I spotted a family having a quiet picnic under a majestic oak tree. I was enjoying gazing idly at their carefree enjoyment when all of a sudden I had an overwhelming urge to drop a concealed load. Panicking, I made a dash for a close-by treeline. Unfortunately this route took me right past them and with only a few metres to go I let out a little cough and regrettfully, released the Krappen. I have been having flashbacks ever since.